Tears of the Soul
by Ashrie
Summary: The war is full fledged, but for one girl, this may be the only thing that can bring her to trust those who have haunted her life for so long.


**Tears of the Soul**

Rating: PG to PG-13

Genre: Character Story

Summary: Humans were made to live in the company of other humans. Trust runs through their veins. They need people to make them feel safe and to protect them. But, when Hogwarts gets a new transfer, which has never in its history happened, the world of a select group of students is turned up-side down.

This is a story that lets everyone know that even in the Darkest of times, the beacon of friendship will always shine bright. Life would be empty if it wasn't for those who back you up and hold your hand, even when its not needed. Because if they weren't there, the Darkness would take them. And in the Rise of the Darkness, it's very possible to happen.

A.N : This is a Fanfic based on my character Celestia Thorne. She is my own creation and not part of JK Rowling. The rest of her friends are themselves based loosely on the characters of my friends Kris (Shadowsfaith), Ericcity (angelwings), Tori (Mrs. Murray-Felton) and James (jtherlow). The characters have been altered slightly so that I can change them, and I have changed their names so as not to misuse them. I can't control anyone's characters and I'd hate to make fool of them. I have special permission from Ericcity himself to use Marcus without changing him any. The characters belong to me and my friends.

The rest of the fanfic has a loose plot in JK Rowling's World. It takes place during Harry's 6 Year, though he doesn't have a vast role in this story. I'm going to dedicate myself to this story and I'll update it every weekend. . I hope you guys like it. Celeste is one of my dearest characters and I treasure her greatly. Now, onto the story.

As usual, please R&R

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Harry Potter. Hogwarts, Voldemort, and all other characters/locations/themes/ideas etc. extracted from the book belong to JK Rowling. All characters that I have said above are not mine, save for Alexander Poppington, Melanie Maye, Celestia Thorne, and Sai. The Slytherins are mine as well as part of the Ravenclaws who are not based upon my friends' characters.

**Chapter One**

They put her on an empty train. Nobody else but the conductor, her Siamese, and her were on it. In part, she was relieved. She didn't want to be around people. Not yet. In fact, maybe not ever again. The trembling child seemed to be on the brink of terror and insanity, teetering back and forth between the two. And, yet, the thirteen-year-old needed people. Good people. Loving and kind. The type who cared deeply for you. Who would hold you tight, protecting you from all the bad. People who would watch out for you and make everything good. Someone who loved you. She wouldn't admit it. In her mind, she would never dare think it. She needed love. Love and care, a shelter from the haunting bad.

He said the bad was behind her. He assured her she wasn't going back. Assured her she was safe. Did she believe it? In the depths of her mind, she knew she needed to. She groped blindly for the ability to believe and trust the man. It was impossible. No matter how kindly or soothingly he told her she was, the familiar inability to trust was greater. Primitive instinct had hold of her, clutching her at the heart, lungs, the mind. So strong, was the grasp, which she yearned for it whenever the desire to trust and be comforted arose. Familiarity was another primitive instinct she clutched onto. Like an animal, she needed things to remain the same in order to be comfortable. When they'd start to change and become foreign, so unfamiliar to her, she would break. So many times before, she'd broken. Each time was more painful than the last.

With dark eyes, she started at the wall across from her in the compartment. She didn't move. Beside her sat Sai, her only friend in the world. The most loyal and decent soul she'd had chance to meet. Jasmynn once fit that category. But out there were forces greater than the two and Jazzy was taken from her. She had to shake her head to force out the image attempting to sneak into her mind. One that had pushed her so far over the edge that she took a painful break.

_Stop it_! she ordered herself. If the image would reveal itself, she would find herself in a train of tears. Never ending, scalding tears. Ones that choked her, making her hope and fear for Jasmynn's fate.

Oh… Jasmynn…

Didn't Jasmynn know she was needed? The child desperately needed her confidante. Pain seered her as she forced away the memory of That Day. But still, the anger found its way in. Turning her stomach into a pit of boiling flames. Anger at Jasmynn for abandoning her. Why would Jazzy do that? Why did she hurt her? That question, however, would forever go on unanswered.

Outside, the scenery was cloaked in the grey of dusk. The setting sun opposite the sole occupied compartment splashed gold rays over the horizon. Blinding rays of hope. The girl, though, could only see the hazy grey, the dark shapes silhouetted in the far sky. It was bleak. And lonely. One single star sat high against the back drop. A dull, tiny star, all alone.

_Are you ready?_

_I'm not sure I ever will be._

_You will. We both will. One day._

_What if he lied?_

_What if he didn't?_

_When has anyone ever been honest with us?_

_Jasmynn._

_She said she'd never leave._

The silent conversation between cat and girl took place within their minds. Of course, to the girl, Sai was not just a cat. Her only trustee in the world was Bound to her. The magic, so powerful, so old, was rare. It didn't always work well. The Bounding of human and animal mind, soul, and emotion was hard. If done after the human and animal were a year, it usually failed. By Bounding their minds, the animal's mind would develop with the human's. The human would learn to work the senses of the animal. As they grew, they would share thoughts, feelings, tastes, sounds, emotions. They intertwined to be One, blending with one and other. It was good to have each other. Another being that truly understood you.

Sai didn't respond to the girl's last message. She felt him putting up his filter. This in the way it worked was strange. Neither knew exactly how to do it. But they managed to do it when they needed to. Sai could choose what not to pass to his Half. He could retain certain emotions and thoughts. It took a lot of concentration to do it, so Sai must have been in a pained mood if he could consciously remember the filter.

What happens to one half would happen to the other. If the animal was tiered, the human would feel it. If pain was inflicted with pain, so was the cat. When one looked at something, the other Half also did. They could partially break this restraint; one could walk while the other sat. What the other Half was seeing, hearing, feeling was distantly with the other. Of course, they could only move in a ten foot radius of each other.

As the girl shifted in her seat, sinking against its back, the cat relaxed out of its rigid, poised form. She felt his filter lift. Slowly, his available emotions seeped in. The ones he hadn't packed away, sealed off from her. This too took great concentration as well as mental strength. You had to focus on gathering the emotions and packing them away before lifting the filter which was being subconsciously held. This all was draining, especially together. The girl felt her eyes flutter with sleep in rhythm with the cat's. Eventually, all four eyes closed as sleep captured them both.

The nap which came of this was often never long. Just enough for them to regain their energy. Once done, they'd be alert and focused again. It always worked this way. A momentary bodily shut down to rest and then they'd be up and working again. As she was released of her slumber, the girl turned to her Half.

_You know better than that!_ she chastised with a flourish of anger.

_Than what?_ responded the cat in an innocent lazy tone.

His sapphire eyes hardened as the girls own dark did. They managed to have many stand offs. Anger filled eyes boring into each other.

_Why are you always stupid? Putting up Filters like you do!_

_Why are you always stupid?_

_Stop that now! Can't you ever answer a question?_

_Can't you ever trust a human?_

There was a pause of even mental silence. Inside, the girl seethed. Her mind whirled with emotions, the most predominant of them being anger. She knew she had angered Sai. He sometimes liked to momentarily sever his connection from the girl in order to stew about. He hated the waves of emotion which would come from the female. Half in the form of a tsunami. She, though, hated it. It was a horrible feeling, being cut off like that. As if half of your body stopped sensing, stopped thinking, and stopped doing. By trying to fight the filter and then chastising him, she had upset Sai. Pushed his temper. When like this, he always became cocky and rude, hurtful.

Deep down, she knew she had to apologize. Her mind battled with it. Her body, so tentative and reserved, refused. She herself could be stubborn and cold against others. That was what she had grown up to learn. So, instead, she released a fiery "Argh!" It was the first sound to be made on the train in almost eight hours.

_Haven't got any good excuses, eh_?

_I do!_ she responded like a hiss. _How can you let go? Everything that happened! Two-and-a-half years of-_

Her resentful "words" fell silent. She couldn't bring herself to let the words come. To let the truth open itself. Part of her desperately hoped it'd never happened. Memories though. Images. They were so hard to fight. Screaming. Green light. Pain. Shrill. Floor. Body. Glassy eyes. A shrill shriek tumbled from the girl's lips as this all flooded in. Her heart raced, blood pumped, pounding in her head. Adrenaline coursed through her body in a mad frenzy.

_Stop it! Stop it now! Look what you're doing!_

Sai was trying to be harsh, but even he had felt the fear on his own accord. The grief they shared seeped into his body. Arching up, he padded into her lap. Pushing up, he rubbed his back beneath the girl's chin, letting his tail trail after it, high held and curling over her cheek. It was his best form of consolation, aside of licking her. That though, was saved for the most terrible occasions. As his tail brushed across her face, he caught a tear in his silken fur. Turning, he pranced to the middle of her lap, where his face could reach up and silk over her cheek. He felt the tears falling; big heavy tears of distress. Using his tail, he wiped at the tears of the other cheek. The girl wrapped her arms about the cat, burrowing her face in his white body.

_Purr!_ he ordered himself, a thought only he heard.

As the rhythmic sounds met the girl's ears and vibrated against her chest, she began to stroke the fur of the Siamese. The tears began to cease and the shaking caused by them, too, did. Tears were always painful for them For so long, she held so much in. The horror. The pain. The grief. The furry and outrage. The loneliness. Tears proved weakness and vulnerability and where she came from, it was fatal to show either. Jasmynn. That night she cried. She cried for hours. The tears did not relent. They continued to fall, burning. Days began to be like that. She was finally pushed over. Alone and terrified. To live in such haunting horrors took strength which she only pretended to yield. Her calluses softened with each falling tear.

_I'm sorry_, they both told each other. _I'm very, very sorry. Forgive me?_


End file.
